Dipper and Mabel Hang Glide
by gravityfalls456
Summary: Seriously, someone needs to tell the moderators of this website that there is no "Complete Bullhonkey" genre to select. Summary: Two children are spied on by a paedophile while they do stupid things to pass time.


"This place is so boring..." Mabel complained as she and Dipper wandered the Mystery Shack. It was the same old same old, 'attractions' Stan created to make money. It was about all he could do in a town like Gravity Falls to make money though. As the two wandered about the place looking for something to do, they came across the room Stan kept old cardboard boxes that merchandise for the gift shop was shipped in. Stan had been keeping them for an unknown reason, but they just kept stacking up.

"Hang gliders..." Dipper said very quietly as he stared up at the stacks of boxes. He didn't mean to say anything, and didn't realize he had until someone else took notice.

"What?" Mabel questioned, she heard Dipper whisper things all the time. She must have thought he had some kind of mental instability or something at this point.

"Huh?" Dipper mumbled, unaware of what he had whispered. Surely he wasn't quite right up there.

"You said something, something that sounded like... Fang sliders?" Mabel explained to her poor, baffled brother.

"Oh, did I say that? Heh, well, I just thought that we could, uh..." Dipper trailed off now that he thought about it. He knew something would go wrong with his plan, and he would never hear the end of it. That is until Gruncle Stan's alzheimers kicked in.

Mabel then remembered. Last night they had been watching a television program where a young boy had built a hang glider out of cardboard and jumped off his parent's trailer's roof and broke his leg. After the program went off Dipper explained what the boy had done wrong in building it, even though the footage was a reenactment of the happening.

"You want to build hang gliders, don't you Dipper?" Mabel said with a weedy facial expression.

"Well, uh, if you don't want to I uh..."

"Of course I want to! It'll be awesome!"

And it was settled. Mabel ran and got the scissors, Dipper got the tape, and they went at it. While those two went at it (I think you know what I mean), Michael Rosen was outside the Mystery Shack spying on them through a hole in the wall that Stan refused to fix because he didn't have the eight dollars for a tub of spackling paste. Michael Rosen wasn't a very sophisticated man, he loved to watch the children do things around the Shack. He lived in the woods around the perimeter of the Mystery Shack and spied on them often. He loved this peep hole because it provided him a space to view these two cute little children. He would often go back into the woods and fantasize about them. Anyways, he watched them build these cardboard things for almost two hours.

"It's done!" Dipper exclaimed, holding up his creation. "Oh wait, no it isn't." Then he sat back down and felt like a fool.

Michael Rosen jumped when he heard this noise. He had been sitting there peeping through the peep hole, and everything had been nearly silent until this. But Rosen was happy. Just hearing the young boys voice made him happy. He couldn't get over these children, or any children really.

"Okay, I think it's done now," Dipper said slowly. Mabel had been done with her basic design for a while now, while Dipper fine- tuned his glider so that it would fly perfectly. They used duct tape to tape several layers of cardboard together to make the things robust, and used two clothes hangars to make handles. Mabel had made a very crude and basic design, Dipper had taken one glance at it, and scoffed at it. "I bet yours won't even make it this-" as Dipper held up his hand to demonstrate how far Mabel's glider would go, he knocked over a cup of Pitt Cola that had been sitting there on the night stand for about a week. The cup just so landed on Dipper's glider. "Oh," Dipper, once again feeling like a fool, had to re- build his glider. It took less time than the first though because he already knew what he would do.

The two climbed up to the roof, their gliders being designed to just barely make it through the opening to the roof. "Ready?" Dipper asked Mabel. He had been anticipating this moment for the whole time they built the gliders. He just knew his design would beat his sister's, he had paid great detail to his glider, making it perfectly aerodynamic. He pictured himself soaring over Mabel's head, gliding on and on, and he got carried away in his thoughts.

"Dipper?" Mabel saw her brother standing there staring into the distance like a fool. She knew he was fantasizing about him and Wendy again.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry," Dipper said, feeling like a fool once more. Well, probably not just ONCE more, as he did this fairly often.

"I'm going to beat you!"

"No you won't fool!"

And they were off. Mabel was first, she was very nervous about doing this because she didn't know what she was doing! She didn't know how to build an aircraft and fly it! But she didn't want to look like a fool. She backed up, ran towards the edge of the roof, and jumped. The design worked! She glided for a bit out into the parking lot of the Mystery Shack until landing about 25 feet from the building.

Dipper was impressed, but he knew that his design would beat that easily. He backed up as far as he could, and, while he was doing this, he glanced over to the side. There, standing and watching the two was old man Rosen. Dipper had been told bad things about this man from Gruncle Stan. Dipper didn't quite understand what he did to children, but he was told it wasn't pleasant.

"Get off ya nasty paedophile!" Dipper shouted. Old Man Rosen snapped out of his dirty fantasy and ran off into the woods.

Dipper then went back to what he was doing. He backed the rest of the way up, and sprinted across that old thatched roof of the Mystery Shack. It was a wonder it didn't fall in that old thatched roof, Stan couldn't be bothered to put a dent in his fortune to upgrade his house's roof from the 3rd century A.D. Dipper got to the very edge and jumped. Dipper was a bit nervous in reality, he was confident in his design but wasn't so sure about actually testing it. He jumped regardless, and it worked! He glided along, and was soon going over his sister. Mabel watched in awe, while Dipper just looked straight ahead. He was heading straight for the totem pole that was out front! Dipper tried to swing around and turn, but it was no use, his glider wouldn't turn. He slammed right into the wooden thing, his glider had built up a bit of speed as well, so it wasn't too pleasant. He fell to the ground in a heap from about 8 feet up.

Mabel ran over to help Dipper up, but then, they heard something. There was a buzzing sound, something like... Hornets! Hundreds of them poured out from behind the pole and towards the two. Dipper wasn't hurt too badly, mostly shaken up, so he got up and ran inside alongside Mabel into the Mystery Shack, slamming the door behind them. They looked at each other, and laughed.

"That was fun."


End file.
